Baby Won’t You Shave Your Beard – Jonny Freesh ft. Katie J White

Sauce: Jonny Freesh

Katie asks, begs, and then threatens Jonny to Shave his beard. Hilarity ensues in an epic tale of Awesome Beardage, Love, and the Ultimate Sacrifice…

Chorus 1 (Katie)
baby won’t you shave your beard
if you don’t i’m gonna disappear
baby won’t you shave your beard
otherwise I don’t love you

Verse 1 (Jonny)
If I shave my beard, I won’t know who I am
it’ll crush my berries, like smuckers jam
if I was beardless I wouldn’t be manly
I wouldn’t be fearless I’d be a nancy
I might as well stop wearing spongebob jammies and put on a pair of granny panties
without my beard, I’d cease to be your royal beardness
without my beard goggles, i’d no longer see the clearest
a man without a beard is like china without ping pong
they’ve lost their balls, so now they’re nothing but a ding dong
i’d be a bald faced liar if I shaved my beard for you
my shaggy lips would gladly lick your saggy nips but sadly it appears as if your love for me just isn’t really true

Chorus 2 (Katie)
baby won’t you shave your beard
if you don’t i’m gonna disappear
baby won’t you shave your beard
i’m gonna get you fuckin sheared

Verse 2 (Jonny)
the day I turned 13, my daddy shared with me this wisdom
he looked at me and said, jonny this ain’t no bullshit son
shaving your beard is like having your first period see
you’ll officially be a woman, I’m super seriously
shave your beard and I guarantee that you won’t make it through college
you’ll end up on the streets getting paid to give dudes noggin
but I guess now that i’m graduated and got a real job
putting up ceilings of glass on a shiny street of walls
I can shave my beard and ignore my heart in fear of ending up alone
i’ll stifle my tears and play my part just so that I can live in your home
and if my friends ask why I shaved my beard i’ll look them in the eye
and do my best to tell them lies without starting to cry

Chorus 3
(Jonny ) baby I just shaved my beard
promise you won’t disappear
(Katie) uhhhh baby I fucked up
without your beard I can’t love you

Verse 3 (Katie)
i’m sorry baby, it’s breakin my heart
without your beard our love is fallin apart
I found better, I ain’t gonna lie
gandalf showed me a way better time
Pai Mei showed me a way better time
kimbo slice showed me a way better time
santa claus showed me a way better time
Mr. T showed me a way better time

Chorus 4 (Katie)
gandalf really turns me on
his beard aint the only thing that’s thick and long
he’s really wise and casts a badass mantra
plus he reached level 7 in super mario tantra